


If The Sky Comes Falling Down...

by kolbietheninja



Category: Naruto
Genre: AU!Sasuke is so done with the Canon world's BS, Acerbic Commentary via Sasuke, Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Disregards current manga chapters, Gen, Humor, I assure you, If you don't think so, Major Spoilers, Mentions of Jiraiya/Tsunade, No character bashing, Not really action-packed, Or everything involving Kaguya, Sasuke just thinks everyone else is beneath him, Sasuke's thoughts are meant to be humorous, Sasuke-centric, Team 7-centric, this might not be your cup of tea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2014-11-22
Packaged: 2018-02-20 23:52:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2447669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kolbietheninja/pseuds/kolbietheninja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Uchiha Sasuke was brother of the Clan Head, best friend of the Hokage and Head Medic, former General of ANBU, sensei of Team 4, and member of the second generation Sannin. When he dies, he has no regrets, so he is quite understandably angry when the god of death drops him into a twelve year old version of himself in an alternate world and expects him to save it as compensation.</p><p>(OR: AU!Sasuke finds out that the canon world kind of sucks.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm onto you, 'shinigami'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remembered why I enjoy writing Sasuke more than any other character; his condescending view of the world and (pretty much) everyone in it is so fun to write. 
> 
> As stated in the tags, however, if you don't find Sasuke's commentary humorous, this story probably isn't for you. I am only writing this fic because it's fun, and it's my kind of humor. Taking that away would make this daunting, and I wouldn't want to even update it. Thanks for understanding!
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: Naruto belongs entirely to Masashi Kishimoto, as does "Hey Brother" to Avicii, which is where the title and lyrics in italic were taken from.

_"If the sky comes falling down..._

_For you, there's nothing in this world I wouldn't do."_

* * *

**I.**

Sighing softly to himself, he continues to idly spin the kunai on his finger around and around as he contemplates recent events. Before he'd been unceremoniously killed, he'd lead a good life. He'd made his parents proud of him through his own merit. He'd become the Hokage's right hand. He, along with his certifiable teammates, had made Konoha feared once again, and, despite a few skirmishes here and there, they'd been able to maintain peace.

Well, maybe most people wouldn't consider uncovering a plot to put the whole world under a genjutsu by Uchiha Madara - who wasn't actually dead, apparently - and Kakashi-sensei's old teammate - who _also_ wasn't really dead - to be a mere 'skirmish', _but_ he'd seen weirder things. (Kami knows Team 7 attracted trouble like flies to honey.) Besides, they'd managed to stop it in the end, so it doesn't really count. Obito had even been coaxed into changing sides (again), so it was a boon, really. His cousin's prowess with the Sharingan wasn't anything to sneeze at, even if it came nowhere close to surpassing his own.

His life had been _more_ than good, so, _of course_ , he was killed by a nameless shinobi whilst on a random courier mission - He hadn't even been able to finish said insignificant mission! He can only be thankful that his genin hadn't been with him; those little snots were only a couple of months out of the academy and in way over their heads. He's glad his teammates weren't there, either. Sakura would probably have cried all over him (and successfully ruined any remaining cool factor he'd had left), and the Idiot would have threatened him to _not_ die or something else equally moronic. And his stupid sensei would have blamed himself - _is_ blaming himself, most likely - because he thinks he should have the ability to save everyone, even when there's no possible way he could have.

He has no regrets, not really, which brings him to where he is now, alive and whole. He stops the careless twirling and closes his hand around the hilt, squeezing hard enough that his knuckles turn white. _Useless shinigami_ , he thinks angrily, disgust coloring the words.

Some people might jump at the chance to live again; they might even beg the death god to prevent the inevitable. Those people are idiots. Sasuke had never asked for this; he _didn't_ ask for this.

This is _not_ a gift.

The grey-skinned, demonic creature had smiled dangerously as he had offered the Uchiha another 'chance', and Sasuke, who had always been taught to look underneath the underneath, had seen right through the god's deception. Despite grudgingly accepting the Idiot as his Hokage - because, idiot or not, Naruto had a way with words and could back _up_ those words, making him a somewhat decent leader - he had never fully believed in his 'friendship-can-conquer-anything', blindly trusting ideals. He's certain that even Sakura - who was only slightly less brain damaged, if only because she personally contributed to the Idiot's head injuries - wasn't completely convinced.

So he'd demanded to know what the shinigami was up to because _he_ can't be bothered to play mind games when being blunt will get him the information he wants much faster.

The shinigami had showed off perfectly white teeth that sharply contrasted the being's overall dreary and dull theme. _"Your counterpart will destroy this world without your intervention."  
_

 _"Counterpart?"_ He'd parroted blankly, only marginally confused. If the dead could be brought back to life on a whim, he wouldn't have dismissed the idea of another world entirely. The sinister entity's next words had only confirmed his suspicions.

Gleeful grin widening, the spectral creature had elaborated, _"There is more than just your world out there, boy. There are countless worlds and within those, countless planes of existence,_ but _all of them share several universal constants."_ He'd held a wrinkled, clawed hand up and counted down as he'd explained, _"The first is that there must always be a Konoha; the second, that there always be a team made up of Hatake Kakashi, Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, and Uchiha Sasuke. And the third constant..."  
_

His appendage had resumed its place as the horned, otherworldly being trailed off, and his dark amusement had morphed into an enigmatic expression. _"...is not for one such as you to know."_ Sasuke had gritted his teeth in annoyance, then, and the soul collector had spoken before he could demand an answer. _"Be grateful for the information you have been deigned to know. No other human before now has had such a privilege."_

 _"Why are you telling me all this? What would you have me do?"_ He'd questioned, stamping down on his indignation.

The shinigami had then finally dropped all pretenses. _"Your counterpart will destroy this world; I only ask that you save it."_

And before he could refuse - or say anything at all - the world had shifted, and he'd found himself in his current predicament: trapped in an imitation of his old room, back at the Main House. And he actually means _'trapped'._ The door opens, but outside is nothing but darkness. And he instinctively knows that attempting to navigate his way around in it would be fruitless; he's meant to wait _patiently_ for whatever the death god has in store for him. He scoffs and flicks his wrist expertly, embedding the weapon in the wall in a fit of anger.

A crack forms around the kunai, and then the whole room disintegrates.

Startled, Sasuke falls through the quickly disappearing floor with an undignified yelp (that he will never admit to or acknowledge, _ever_ ) only to land gently in an identical room, with a minor difference.

"Who are _you?_ " Demands a mirror image of himself - that is, if he were a twelve year old brat. The kid radiates angst, and his scowl looks more like a childish pout than the murderous vibe he's going for. Well, now he understands why no one ever took him seriously at that age.

Adopting his 'you're-nothing-to-me-but-I'll-indulge-you-nonetheless' expression (shamelessly copied from his sensei to use against his own students), he says easily, "Apparently, I'm you." Now that his 'counterpart' is here, all the missing pieces have fallen into place - quite literally. That damn shinigami should have been more forthcoming from the start, but at least he understands now. "From another world," he adds at the kid's skepticism, which naturally increases at such a wild claim.

He leans against the wall, arms crossed, as the kid practically hisses, "That's impossible."

"Do you know where we are?" He asks abruptly, deciding, as usual, that bluntness would better serve him here. Before the kid can answer, he says dismissively, "Yes, it looks like your room, but _where are we?_ "

Mini-Sasuke's indignant expression changes into one of consideration as he quickly glances around the confined space while still keeping his attention fixed on him. Cautiously, the kid backs up and tries the door as he had done and finds the same nothingness. He whirls around and glares heatedly. "What is this?"

"' _This_ _'_ is a manifestation inside your mind," The older Uchiha replies. ' _Probably'_ , he doesn't say because he's mostly sure he's right, and he doesn't want to freak the kid out. "My consciousness has been forcibly added to yours, and this room is a safety measure meant to contain me." That's what he's going with, anyway. When he damaged the wall of his 'cage', it probably alerted the kid and led to this little meeting.

Eyebrows furrowed, the genin(?) vocalizes his suspicions, "How do I know this isn't an illusion?"

"You don't." He shrugs, and the kid's frown deepens. "Do you want to know why I'm here before attempting to force me out?" He offers. He doesn't know what will happen if his counterpart tries to purge him from his mind, and he doesn't really want to find out. The shinigami has a plan for him, obviously, but his safety was never exactly guaranteed.

Tensing even more, uncertainty flickers across the kid's face, but he eventually nods tersely.

"I died," he begins, and the kid can't quite hide his shock at the admission. Regardless, he goes on, "But the god of death stopped me from going wherever I was supposed to go and told me I had to save another world - _your_ world." He leaves out ' _from you'_ because, as long as the kid agrees to help him, it won't matter anyway.

"Save it from _what_?" Mini-Sasuke demands immediately, and he has to fight not to smirk at the irony. The kid also blurts out, "Why do you even care?"

Regarding the shaken, bitter child before him, he wonders what his counterpart has gone through in only twelve years. Well, he'll know soon enough. As for the second question... Heh, maybe his moronic teammates have brushed off on him, or Itachi's peace-loving idealism has influenced him after all these years. Shrugging again, he retorts, "Does it matter? Some awful things are going to happen unless I prevent them."

As the kid mulls over that bit of information, he reveals at length, "In order to do that, you're going to have to accept me - my consciousness, my memories, everything." His counterpart's eyes widen slightly in surprise, and the older Uchiha continues, "I can't promise you'll be the same person. Despite our physical similarities, we're obviously very different people." Moving away from the wall, he slinks toward the child and bends down enough to be eye-level. He then points out the one thing that will be the clincher for all versions of himself, no matter their differences in worlds or backgrounds or experiences. "But you'll be stronger."

Whatever misgivings the kid had crumble away before his resolve. Determination practically oozing from him, the child says, "I'll do it."

And the room falls to pieces around them.


	2. And so begins the realization...

**II.**

He wakes to a blinding headache and a soul-shredding emptiness so agonizing in its intensity that it brings tears to his eyes. Clutching his chest, he scrambles out of bed and barely manages to make it to the bathroom in time to empty the contents of his stomach into the toilet. With that done, he dry heaves for a while, clinging to the porcelain bowl and sobbing uncontrollably as he attempts to make sense of the mess that is his mind.

He remembers _decades_ spent with his family unharmed, alive and whole, but all he can see is corpses littering the streets; his parents, gracelessly laid over one another in a puddle of their own blood; his brother, looming over him with cool eyes and harsh words.

He remembers countless afternoons playing with the Idiot spent over at Minato-oji-san's and Kushina-oba-chan's, but all he hears is how the Fourth Hokage lost his life protecting the village against the Kyuubi; how nothing about his wife is ever mentioned, other than the fact that she lost her life as well; how the Idiot is an orphan, _like him_ , and is ostracized by the village because his status as a jinchuuriki has somehow leaked.

He remembers being passed between the Sannin for babysitting and, later, training, along with the rest of his team, but he knows that Tsunade-obaa-chan abandoned the village years ago; that Orochimaru-sensei fled and became a missing-nin; that Ero-Sennin hasn't been in the village since his student died.

He remembers a life surrounded by loved ones, whether he'd wanted them or not, but now, he is completely and utterly alone.

He gets his breathing under control after some time, as well as his crying, and the ensuing silence threatens to consume him. His childhood home, the Uchiha compound, is too big for one person; it's supposed to be _brimming_ with people, with _life_. But he is all that is left - just him.

He loosens his hold on the toilet and slumps to the floor. Unbidden, a bitter smile forms on his face. No wonder the kid was so messed up. It also explains why he agreed so easily _and_ why, without his interference, he would seek to destroy everything - Everything was taken from him, after all. The smile vanishes as his thoughts turn toward _**(That Man)**_ his brother - his peace-loving, pacifist brother. Why would Itachi do something so completely against everything he's ever believed in? His earlier memories of this world line up perfectly with his own childhood. Where do the similarities end? He begins picking apart the events he can recall until...

His mind starts working furiously as he realizes it's been tampered with. The blank space of time between one memory and the next, as well as the faint sense that they've been influenced by someone else, tell him as much. And he'd bet anything that Itachi is the culprit. He clamps down upon the sense of wrongness, cleansing it in an effort to expunge the illusion. Suddenly, previously repressed memories unveil themselves as the fake ones fade away.

Itachi was crying that night. The fact that he took such measures to ensure Sasuke forgot about it is telling enough.

Hope - as cheesy as it seems - swells within him at this unexpected discovery, and he allows himself a moment to revel in it.

He's certain his brother was forced into action, but he doesn't know _why_. There's too much about this world he doesn't know, even with twelve years' worth of memories. Itachi would only attack the Clan if they were a threat to the village, and even then, only as a last resort. In his world, relations with the village were great. The Hokage and Clan Head - his father - were practically best friends, but _here_ , the Hokage and his wife - who was close with his mother - died when Sasuke was a baby.

And soon after, the Uchiha were moved to the Compound, cut off from the village, because it was an Uchiha - _Obito_ \- who was involved in the Kyuubi attack. He knows from his own world that the villagers were suspicious of the Clan after that, but since the Fourth was unshakeable in his belief that they had nothing to do with it, the divide never occurred. He can easily imagine the resentment and bitterness that would have risen between the Clan and the village; he thinks of the tense dinners and stony silences of his last memories of his family alive and knows he's right.

Being more than acquainted with the Elders' arrogance and tendency to make rash decisions, along with Fugaku's pride, Sasuke has no trouble believing his Clan was going to attempt a coup d'etat. Considering Itachi was in ANBU - and his father's words about his brother being the bridge between the Clan and the village - he figures Sarutobi knew and ordered his brother to massacre his family to save Konoha. The pieces slot into place, and Sasuke has his answer. The only remaining question is why _he_ was spared, but he already knows.

His brother loves the village - _peace_ \- more than the Clan, but Sasuke will always, always come first.

Now that he's aware of Itachi's sacrifice, well, it's time to return the favor, isn't it? Never mind Itachi's plan to have Sasuke avenge the Clan. It may be the older brother's duty to protect the little brother, but...

It's the role of the younger brother to never listen to his older brother and protect him, anyway.


	3. So done with your shit, Sakura

**III.**

Fan girls are _insufferable._

He'd had them before, but teenage girls are an entirely different _breed_ compared to their more discreet - or, at the very least, capable - older peers. That one time Anko had propositioned him after his promotion to jounin had been unsettling, but she'd backed off after he'd rejected her. _These_ parasites don't seem to understand the meaning of the word.

"Sasuke-kun~! Congratulations on becoming a genin!"

"Look, I passed the exam, too, Sasuke-kun~!"

" _So did I!_ Maybe we'll be on a team together, Sasuke-kun~!"

"No _, **we'll**_ be on a team together, Sasuke-kun~! Forget _this_ bimbo!"

"What did you say to Sasuke-kun about me, wench?!"

"I love you, Sasuke-kun~!"

"I love you more than her, Sasuke-kun~!"

"I love you more than _anyone else_ , Sasuke-kun~!"

He barely manages to repress the urge to snap at them; he's well aware that being acknowledged by him will only encourage them. As he mentioned previously, he's no stranger to admiration, but this much is simply ridiculous - even more so when he knows it's only because he 'survived' the massacre of his Clan. Disgust curls within his gut and surfaces on his face in the form of a scowl.

The doors slam open, and two familiar faces appear, fighting to get into the room before the other. The most annoying fans of them all continue to bicker until they finally enter the room and immediately set eyes on him. Revulsion rises within him as his (old teammate) self-proclaimed biggest fan argues with Ino over which of them gets to sit next to him. After years of being on the same team, he can't see the pink-haired girl as anything other than a sister figure, so her mooning over him is nauseating.

He also can't help but be disappointed at the change in her personality. As far as he knows, Sakura is the only child of civilians, and while she excels in the academics, she's only average at best in everything else. And her only motivation to become a ninja is to impress him - which, of course, only achieves the opposite. _His_ Sakura had had two shinobi family members - her brother and father, and they'd made sure to impress upon her the dangers of their lifestyle, as well as to train her to actually be a competent ninja. (She'd never developed a crush on him, either.) When Team 7 is formed - and he knows it will be; the shinigami had said as much - she'll be more of a nuisance than anything.

Speaking of nuisances... The Idiot crouches on the desk in front of him and glares heatedly - probably because _his_ crush is causing a riot over Sasuke. He returns the gaze in annoyance, both at the Idiot's jealousy of his rabid followers (He would gladly be rid of them) _and_ his obnoxious behavior. The differences between this Naruto and his world's version are also striking. Here, the Idiot is mistreated, and his status as a jinchuuriki is widely known by the older generations whereas _there_ , he was known only as the Hokage's beloved son and was adored by the villagers.

He'd still been loud and annoying, but he'd also understood the gravity of their chosen profession and had been trained by his parents _and_ the Sannin. They'd still butted heads, but they'd been forced to spend time with one another their entire lives - being that their parents were so close - and had eventually become friendly rivals. _This_ moron is not only below average in _every_ category, but he _boasts_ about his non-existent strengths and challenges Sasuke _every_ day when it's clear the imbecile hasn't improved in the slightest. It's galling. It's irritating. He wants so very badly for all of this to be a genjutsu.

_Save the world?_ He mentally scoffs. _Not with this team._

His train of thought is derailed as the Idiot falls toward him without warning, and their lips connect on impact. They immediately jump away from one another, and Sasuke finds himself dry heaving once again as he attempts to eradicate what he just experienced from his mind. He feels nauseous even as the dumbass is beaten into submission by his horde of groupies, who rather than defending his 'honor' are in all actuality just angry _they_ weren't his first kiss. His contempt for his classmates only increases, and Sasuke finds himself thankful that today is the last day he'll have to deal with most of them. (He spares a moment to glower at his soon-to-be teammates.) **  
**

He tunes out Iruka-sensei's lecture about becoming genin and simply waits for the teams to be called out. Eventually, he does, and the Uchiha is almost comforted by the fact that the rest of the teams - the important ones, that is; he can't be bothered with nameless losers who will inevitably fail their sensei's test - have remained the same. When Team 7 is assigned, he can't quite clamp down on his growing excitement; things are finally picking up, after all. He allows himself to smirk, heedless of the on-going bickering amongst the females of the class.

Iruka-sensei lets them leave for a short break with the reminder to return later that afternoon to meet their jounin sensei, and Sasuke makes up his mind to drop by his mentor's usual haunt. There's no one there when he arrives, which leads him to believe Kakashi-sensei most likely sensed his approach and fled, but that works out for him. He's not there to see anyone still breathing.

The Memorial Stone gleams under the glaring sun as Sasuke stands before it, face a blank mask. His obsidian gaze roams over several names in particular over and over again in bemusement. It's... bizarre, knowing that he'd seen these people alive days ago _and_ that they've been dead for years now. The wounds on his heart feel both fresh and faded but painful all the same. He's both relieved that he left them happy and healthy in his old world and angry that they'd been ripped from him so easily here. He then gets the faint sense that he's being watched - the man must have returned, or maybe he'd never left - and forces himself to return to the academy. There's no point in dwelling on the dead, anyway.

He runs into Sakura on his way back, who immediately starts babbling to him about inane things. "Where's Naruto?" He interrupts her. The Idiot isn't good for much, but distracting his crush with his stupidity is something of a specialty of his.

"Oh, see. There you go, changing the subject again." She goes on, spouting more nonsense, "Anyway, Naruto just picks fights with you. You know why he's so annoying? 'Cause he wasn't raised right. He doesn't a have a mother or father - no one to teach him right from wrong. Think about it. He just does whatever comes into his head."

He whips around to glare at her, but she doesn't notice and continues to put her foot in her mouth. "If I did things like Naruto, forget it! I mean, my parents would get mad, and I'd get in trouble. So of course, I don't do it. But if you don't have parents to tell you, how would you know? He's selfish and bratty. He's all alone." She ends the rant with a haughty, knowing tone, _as if she could ever understand what it feels like._

"Alone. _Isolated._ It's not about your parents scolding you. You have no idea what it means to be alone," His mouth shifts into a sneer as repugnance for this ignorant child taints his words. "You _so easily_ condemn Naruto for being an orphan, but what about me? Or have you forgotten that my entire family was _murdered_?" He thinks of _his_ Sakura, who had been strong and competent and everything this version of her pales in comparison to, and of the names carved into the memorial with such finality. "What have your parents done for _you_? You're aiming to become a ninja for pathetic reasons. Naruto, _the orphan_ , has more of a grasp on what it means to be a shinobi than _you_." The Idiot's dream to become Hokage in order for people to recognize him is _also_ pathetic, but it is, at the very least, understandable.

Her pompous expression has long since been replaced by hurt and bewilderment. "W-why are you saying that?"

"Because..." He turns to face her fully, making sure she understands, so that she can't find some twisted way to misinterpret his meaning. " _You're annoying._ " She gasps loudly in shock, and he stalks off, becoming more and more disillusioned with this world the longer he inhabits it.

Why _should_ he save it?


	4. Kakashi totally thinks he's a cool kid

**IV.**

When they all pile into the classroom for the last time (as students, anyway), Sakura reclaims her position beside him, but she doesn't gush over him, instead choosing to send him increasingly irksome glances. The Idiot notices, of course, and begins shooting Sasuke his own dark looks. The Uchiha doesn't even twitch, staring down at the podium and waiting for Iruka-sensei to announce their new teachers.

As if summoned by his thoughts, said man walks into the room, followed closely by several adult shinobi - two of them being Asuma and Kurenai. Gesturing to them, the Chuunin announces, "A few of your jounin sensei have already arrived. The others will drop by as soon as they can, so wait patiently _like the good students I've taught you to be._ " The genial smile on his face never wavers, but the threat in his voice is clearly heard, as evidenced by the class settling down without a word.

Knowing very well that his team's sensei will be no less than two hours late, he props his head on his hand and reviews his objectives. He intends to track Itachi down and to talk him out of his sacrificial plans, but considering his brother's obstinate nature and penchant for self-loathing, he realizes it won't be an easy task. Convincing the Hokage to allow him to go after his 'traitorous' sibling would be just as difficult, especially given his suspicions about why the man wouldn't inform Sasuke of Itachi's innocence.

Unless Sarutobi steps down as the village leader or deigns to tell the truth in the near future, the youngest Uchiha will have to achieve his goals in secret - perhaps by slipping away on a mission outside of the village or confronting his brother should he visit Konoha for any reason. If all else fails, he could abandon the village altogether. Other than a faint sense of duty (after all these years in service), there's nothing keeping him here - not anymore.

Soon, it's only the three of them left - the other two having convinced Iruka-sensei that they could wait alone, and he idly wonders how long it'll take the Idiot to start complaining when it occurs to him that in all likelihood _this_ Idiot and Kakashi-sensei haven't met yet. What reason would his run-from-the-problem-rather-than-facing-it-head-on mentor have for taking care of the son of his father figure when he probably thinks the man's death is his fault? He doubts the moron would be so hopeless were Sharingan Kakashi training him from the beginning - And he'd have _had to_ , if not in repayment for Minato-oji-san, then because he'd notice how terrible the boy is at _everything_.

Much as he'd expected, Naruto's incensed diatribe echoes around the room about thirty minutes in. Sakura hasn't confessed to him or insulted the Idiot _too_ harshly the entire time, leading him to believe their conversation earlier has at least gotten her thinking. He's not naive enough to expect it to last, however. He's proven right when the Idiot decides to play a prank on their tardy sensei, and their female teammate quickly and loudly berates him for doing so.

"Hey! What are you _doing_?" She moves toward the blonde as he balances precariously on the desk and places the chalkboard eraser in the gap between the door and the frame, giggling impishly to himself in anticipation. " _Na-ru-to!_ "

" _That's_ what he gets for coming late!" The Idiot defends himself and then hops down, shouting, "Surprise!

Hands on her hips and demeanor reproachful, Sakura enlightens him, "You're _asking_ for trouble. You _know_ you shouldn't do that." Despite her actions, Sasuke gets the distinct feeling the girl is just as excited about the possibility of duping their sensei as the Idiot. The kunoichi he's familiar with certainly had no qualms with assisting the blonde in causing mayhem.

She looks to Sasuke for support, but he remains silent. He wouldn't be at all surprised if their elusive teacher 'fell' for the trick in order to fool them; the man is an expert at causing enemies and allies alike to underestimate him, even despite the fact that he's considered dangerous enough to have his name in bingo books.

Unfazed by his lack of a response, the pink-haired girl points out, "He's a _jounin_ , an elite ninja! There's no _way_ he'd fall for that! You're so _clueless_ , Naruto!"

As if to contrast her, their masked mentor suddenly pokes his head in the door, and the others watch in surprise as the eraser lands on his spiky hair in a puff of chalk dust. There's a moment of stunned silence, which is then broken by the Idiot's obnoxious laughter.

"I got him! He totally fell for it!" He boasts between chuckles, rudely pointing at his latest 'victim.'

Blushing in embarrassment, Sakura hastily apologizes, "I'm sorry, Sensei! I told him not to do it, but he wouldn't listen! _I_ would _never_ do anything like that!" He once again gets the sense that his female teammate isn't exactly sincere; he's sure their teacher has picked up on it as well.

He merely stares expectantly at the man as he appraises the three of them. After grabbing the offending object, Kakashi-sensei inspects it, muttering to himself, "Hmm... How should I put this?" Mimicking a standard thinking pose via his hand stroking his chin, he throws out casually, "My first impression of this group... You're a bunch of idiots."

In perhaps the only moment in time Team 7 will _ever_ be in sync, their features shift into identical expressions of irritation simultaneously. Their new sensei eye-smiles at them, orders them to meet him on the roof, and then proceeds to disappear in a whirl of leaves.

"What a jerk!" The Idiot exclaims with a scowl. He opens the door and stomps out into the hall and toward the stairs, muttering profanities.

Sakura is right on his heels, fuming, "Hmph! How can he call _us_ idiots when _he's_ the one who fell for the stupid prank?"

"Hn," He grunts, aggravated that the jounin has dismissed _him_ as well when he hadn't even been involved. Had the man assumed Sasuke had been fooled by his display?

As his teammates continue to complain, it occurs to him that _this_ is the reaction their sensei had been aiming for. His first mentor _had_ always been annoyingly good at pushing people's buttons. He takes a deep breath as he realizes this and exhales it slowly in an effort to calm himself down, determined to not let that masked bastard get to him.

The jounin is lounging against the railing of the roof when they arrive, immersed in his treasured Icha Icha and practically oozing laziness. Sasuke wouldn't blame them if the other two have already completely written him off as an inept shinobi; even the man's barest movements are languid and relaxed.

"Alright. Why don't you introduce yourselves, one at a time?" The silver-haired man suggests as soon as they seat themselves, his book put away for the moment.

"Introduce ourselves?" The kunoichi parrots, befuddled. "What are we supposed to say?"

Gesturing airily with his hands, he clarifies, "Things you like, things you hate, dreams for the future, hobbies - things like that."

"Why don't _you_ tell us stuff first?" The Idiot chimes in with his own semi-intelligent question. Expanding upon his point, he goes on, "I mean, before we talk, tell us stuff about you, so we know how it's supposed to work."

Visible eye comically widened, he points to himself, "Me? I'm Hatake Kakashi. Things I like and things I hate..." He pauses in contemplation. "Eh, I don't feel like telling you that." The moronic duo gasp in unison, and the man continues, "My dreams for the future? ...Never really thought about it. As for my hobbies... I have lots of hobbies."

Unamused, Sakura turns to the Idiot and mumbles, "That was totally useless. All he really told us was his name."

"Uh-huh," The Idiot nods in agreement.

Ignoring the comments, Kakashi-sensei says, "Okay. Your turn." He crosses his arms and inclines his head toward the blonde. "You on the right, you first."

The Idiot then blathers on about ramen and his dream to become Hokage - not all that different from the first time Sasuke had been through this. The only exception is his reasoning that attaining the position will raise him in the eyes of the villagers who have 'disrespected' him.

Sakura's introduction is, as expected, nothing like her other self's. She blushes and giggles and glances at Sasuke throughout the whole thing; if any of them weren't aware of her crush on him before that moment, they'd be blind, deaf, and dumb to not be aware of it now. He gets the vague feeling that perhaps he should be embarrassed for _both_ versions.

When it's his turn, he is just as vague as Kakashi regarding everything but his 'dream' for the future. "I have no intention of saying I have a dream, but I _do_ have an ambition. That is to... kill a certain man one day." Shocked silence follows his declaration, but Sasuke doesn't elaborate.

He has no intention of avenging his Clan by killing Itachi, of course, but it's in his best interests to let everyone think as much. There won't be any awkward questions when he inevitably _does_ track down his brother; they'll simply assume it's revenge. His ever observant sensei won't be able to see through the deception because it _isn't_ one. Whenever he finds out whoever it was that ordered the massacre of the Uchiha Clan and sentenced Itachi to a life of misery in one fell swoop _will_ be struck down by his hand - even if it does turn out to be the Hokage.

Naruto leans slightly away from him, expression clearly stating his hopes that Sasuke wasn't talking about him, but Sakura only seems more enthralled with him. Kakashi-sensei doesn't react outwardly, simply diving into explaining their survival test tomorrow. He knows what to expect, so he doesn't bother questioning it. The other two, on the other hand, are blindsided by the news that they could be sent back to the Academy, and their sensei takes great pleasure in feeding their fears.

Eventually, their masked mentor dismisses them, but he leaves them with a warning. "Oh. Tomorrow, you'd better skip breakfast, or else... you'll puke." He grins and then shunshins away.

Sasuke resists the urge to roll his eyes, knowing very well what the man is planning, but he doesn't bother to share this information with his distressed teammates. The Idiot wouldn't believe him, and Sakura would most likely confuse it for a romantic gesture of some sort. He takes his leave while the girl is distracted by the Idiot's invitation for a meal, deciding to stop by the library and look into a few things before heading home.


	5. Nothing compares to the originals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unless specified otherwise, assume 'he' is referring to Sasuke. Also, there are some not-really-appropriate-for-children words used in this chapter. And, lastly, lots of dialogue have been pulled straight from the source material, i.e. Naruto Episode 4 - English Dubbed. Until I diverge from canon more/completely, this will continue to be the case. 
> 
> Thanks for the kudos, bookmarks, subscriptions, and hits! I'm glad you guys are enjoying the fic so far.

**V.**

He arrives at the designated time the next morning, despite knowing their sensei won't actually show up for a while, and settles down in the grass in anticipation of the long wait. Sakura and the Idiot slump to the ground beside him not a moment later, both of them apparently too tired to care much about sitting in such close proximity. His mind is alert because he'd been waking up around this time in order to train before classes began for years now. He'd also become accustomed to waking at odd hours from his various missions; doing so now, regardless of his younger age, is all but habit.

When his teammates nod off a short time later, he pulls out one of the scrolls he'd gotten yesterday and glances over it again. Sasuke had been curious about the history of this world and how it had matched up to his own (not to mention worried he'd make decisions based on inaccurate assumptions), so he'd taken the initiative to check out what paltry information the library could offer him. He'd then compared the official versions with their Uchiha equivalents - Being the 'last' Uchiha and _technically_ the Clan Head, he has access to pretty much every secret hidden away in the Compound, including their private library - as well as his own memory, and he'd managed to compile a list of events that had coincided within all three.

Luckily, the important parts of history, such as the founding of the village, the three wars, the Clans and their respective special abilities, and the prominent figures during those times, such as the Sannin, Kage, and war heroes, have all remained relatively the same. He doesn't put much stock in the _specifics_ detailed by the Clan _or_ the village because he's well aware both versions are biased accounts.

The other subject he'd researched had been parallel worlds; he has no intentions of following through with the shinigami's mysterious plans if there's even a sliver of a chance that he can return home. He hadn't been able to find much on the topic, however, as the general consensus is that such a thing isn't possible, or even if it is, it seems no one is particularly interested in finding out. Space-Time techniques are dangerous and difficult to fully understand, so the only knowledge available is vague and entirely unhelpful. Perhaps, should his sensei ever find out about Sasuke's world-hopping, or he convinces Obito to help him, he can garner intel from the only living people he knows who have any experience with such jutsu. Until then, it appears he'll have to make due with this world.

At around six, he puts away his reading materials and stands, stretching away the stiffness of his muscles after sitting still for so long. He hasn't exercised at all today, excluding his walk to the training grounds, and it's making him restless. The other two stir from their stupors at his sudden movement, duplicate expressions of drowsiness adorning their faces, and it's amusing, the way they jump apart from each other as they've been burned. He ignores them as they gain their bearings and peer around the clearing for their elusive sensei, deciding to warm up with his usual kata.

"Aww, man, he's not here yet?" The Idiot whines, hopping to his feet.

Sakura scowls before realizing she's agreeing with Naruto and quickly admonishes, "Don't be so hardheaded, Naruto! Kakashi-sensei is a jounin; he's probably got lots of important stuff to do!"

Sasuke has to hold back a snort. The fact that the man isn't here at the Memorial Stone means that he's probably lounging around on a roof somewhere reading smut or doing something else equally useless. He could even be observing them now from the forest. The young Uchiha has never been able to find the man when he didn't want to be found, so it's a likely possibility. That's one of the reasons he's decided to begin his training regime here, rather than at home. He'd never admit as much, but allowing Kakashi-sensei to lump him together with these two imbeciles is not something his pride will stand for. Not only does he have an extra decade on them, but he's an _Uchiha_.

"Che! What important stuff could _that_ guy help with?" The Idiot throws back at her. He doesn't let her answer, muttering, "Why'd we have to get such a lame guy for a sensei, anyway?"

Considering Sakura hadn't been invested in arguing the man's case regardless, she turns away from the conversation and apparently only just notices Sasuke. Brightening instantly, she gushes, "Good morning, Sasuke-kun! You're such a hard worker, practicing without anyone telling you to!"

He pays no attention her, but their third teammate exclaims, "Hey! I practice on my own all the time, Sakura-chan!"

"That's because you _need_ the extra practice, Naruto," She points out with a dark look before hastily ogling Sasuke once again. "Sasuke-kun doesn't~! He's a diligent shinobi!"

Her words are enough to bring out the Idiot's competitive streak, as he shouts, "Oh yeah? Well, I can be diligent, too!" He then proceeds to do the basic Academy kata, sloppily. Sasuke supposes he should consider this a good thing. Team 7 can't drag him down if he makes sure they become decent ninja.

With this in mind, he says, "Sakura. " The girl had been observing the Idiot's mockery of a stance, but she whips around to face him, a delighted flush on her cheeks despite her surprise. "Do your kata, as well."

"Eh?" She replies, clearly confused.

Having expected this, he explains, "The Idiot isn't the only one who needs extra practice." She colors at this, but he goes on, "If we're going to function as a team, we can't have any weak links."

They both ignore Naruto's protest as she nods meekly and then tenuously imitates the Idiot's form, albeit more gracefully. He takes a moment to wonder how she can shamelessly profess her love for him and yet find her mediocre skills embarrassing. Disregarding the ridiculous train of thought, he finishes his warm up and then analyzes his teammates as they go through the standard routine.

Sakura mechanically moves from one form to the next. Her stances are perfect, but they don't flow into one another as they should. The Idiot has the opposite problem; his forms are fluid, but they're not positioned correctly. There are a lot of wasted movements, as well. In a fight, one's movements have to be minimal and precise, not jerky and all over the place. And none of that is including the little mistakes they both keep making.

He sighs internally, irritated. "Sakura." She startles at his voice and then over corrects herself mid-lunge, nearly losing her balance before catching herself.

"Sasuke-kun?" She asks, a little breathlessly.

He inclines his head toward the blonde, inquiring low enough that his words won't carry, "What is the Idiot doing wrong?"

"Oh, um..." She looks to Naruto, who is currently attempting a front kick several feet away, and observes him for a moment. She realizes his problem and points out, quietly, "He's forgetting to breathe properly."

He nods in agreement, glad she'd been able to tell so easily. "Would you let him know? The Idiot will probably never figure it out." He'd have no problem telling the Idiot himself, but he knows his assessment would be met with suspicion and insults rather than gratitude.

"Okay, Sasuke-kun," She acquiesces, familiar enough with the blonde to reach the same conclusion. Speaking at a normal volume, she addresses him, "Hey, Naruto."

"Eh?" He glances up at his name and, much the same as what had happened with her, flails a bit and only _just_ manages to stay upright. "What is it, Sakura-chan?"

She says bluntly, "You're doing the front kick all wrong. You're _supposed_ to release the air in your lungs as you kick. When you hold it in, your muscles get too tense, and your kick ends up being weaker and slower. You also tire out faster."

"Whoa, you're so smart, Sakura-chan!" The Idiot gushes. "Thanks for the help!"

Crossing her arms, she snarks back, "If you'd _ever_ paid attention at the Academy, you'd know all that, idiot!"

"But it was so boring!" The moron tries to defend himself. Smiling widely at her, he says, "Besides, with you on our team, I don't need to know any of that stuff anyway."

As Sakura is torn between being offended and pleased, Sasuke comes up with an idea. Voice unmistakeably disdainful, he says, "Sakura's intelligence can't make up for your stupidity, Idiot."

"What did you say, Sasuke-bastard?" The blonde takes the bait, as usual.

Sneering, he retorts, "I said that _you_ are the weakest member of this team, moron."

"Oh, yeah?!" He growls, enraged. "I bet I can kick _your_ sorry ass, ya bastard!"

He snorts dismissively. "I'd like to see you try."

And that turns out to be the final straw.

The Idiot throws a punch, which he sidesteps, and the next thirty minutes is spent with the two of them fighting as Sakura watches on worriedly from the sidelines, occasionally dodging stray projectiles, as well as jutsu. This scenario allows him to adjust to fighting in a smaller body (Instincts born from memories of both bodies had been attempting to take control) _and_ fix some of the more obvious holes in the Idiot's style, which he accomplishes by targeting those areas over and over again until the blonde builds a more durable defense.

Sparring with the Idiot also enables him to gauge the level of prowess that will be expected of him. He has the experience of a jounin and the body of genin, but the lines between ninja ranks in terms of power are not so easily defined. A higher rank does not insure victory, after all. Fortunately, he has more leeway than even Naruto would in this situation since he's considered to be a prodigy. There is also the fact that he's an Uchiha - one of the last, and outsiders will have no way of knowing if any techniques or information he has are not simply Clan secrets. It's not uncommon for Clans to keep certain things to themselves.

Regardless, Sasuke has determined that sticking to his family's fire jutsu, along with the Academy basics, will be his best bet to fool Kakashi-sensei into thinking him nothing more than a fresh graduate. He already has undue attention on him for a variety of other things; he's not going to create more reasons for scrutiny.

Sasuke dispatches the last few clones, and before the Idiot can summon more, he flickers behind him and levels a kunai at his throat. "Do you yield?" He demands, watching the Idiot for any sudden movements or attempts to overtake him.

The orange-clad ninja gulps, clearly uneasy, and affirms, "Yeah, okay, I yield."

He removes the weapon and stores it back in his pouch. The Idiot moves away from him and slumps on the ground, panting in exhaustion, but Sakura hurries toward him, eyes presumably scanning him over for injuries. Spotting nothing more than a few scrapes and bruises, she practically squees, "I _knew_ you would win, Sasuke-kun!"

"Sakura- _chan_!" The Idiot whines from his position on the grass. "I totally almost beat him!"

Hands on her hips, she snaps, "Yeah, right, Naruto! There's no way you could beat Sasuke-kun - not in a million years! He's right; you _are_ the weakest link!" Predictably, the blonde's face falls at this accusation.

Sasuke wipes the sweat off his brow and then regards her coolly, "Sakura, did you realize anything at all during our spar? The Idiot lasted half an hour against _me_. You couldn't even beat half the girls in the Academy." The girl's own snobbish expression crumbles, but he pays it no mind. "Tell me; do you think you can beat either of us as you are now?"

"Oi, bastard, don't talk to Sakura-chan like that!" The Idiot jumps to her defense, apparently no longer tired.

The pink-haired girl mumbles, touched, "Naruto..."

The Uchiha grits his teeth, entirely fed up with these cheap knock-offs of his best friends and positively _burning_ with the desire to see the originals again, if only to save himself from this overwhelming stupidity. " _When_ we pass the test and go on a dangerous mission, what do you think will happen if _you_ ," Here, he indicates Sakura, "can't protect yourself, and you get injured?" Her eyes widen in shock, but he continues, addressing the Idiot now. "And what if _you_ try to save her, but your attack is too weak or too slow to be of any help? And _you_ end up wounded?" They're both staring at him now, speechless.

"I have my own reasons for getting stronger. You should find yours." With that, he stalks off into the forest, intent on scoping it out for the ensuing survival test. He's spoken more in these past few days than he has throughout his last few _years_ in the Academy.

When he returns after a full sweep, his teammates are splayed out on the ground, the Idiot more gracelessly than the girl, and he actually hears the boy's stomach growling in what he assumes is hunger. He only confirms this when he complains loudly, "I'm so _hungry_..."

As Sakura murmurs in agreement, it occurs to him that they hadn't eaten breakfast this morning in fear of puking during the test. He supposes it's because neither of them have anyone to tell them otherwise, what with Sakura's parents being civilians and Naruto not having any. Kakashi-sensei had pulled the same thing in his world, and despite knowing it was part of his genin test, Sasuke's mother had told him of the deception and made sure he ate something; the same thing had happened to his teammates with their respective parents.

He doesn't divulge the intention behind their sensei's warning, feeling he's done more than enough talking for someone who prefers silence. His decision to not start a conversation is taken right out of his hands, however, when Sakura spots him and inquires, "Oh, Sasuke-kun, did you find any traps in the forest?"

"No," He replies, only marginally taken aback by her astuteness. He doesn't say anything more, and any further words are exchanged between the other two until their mentor finally deigns to show his masked face a little before nine.

Much too cheerfully, Kakashi-sensei greets them, "Morning, everyone. Ready for your first day?"

Naruto and Sakura hop to their feet and point accusingly at the man, shouting together, "Hey! You're late!"

Faking sheepishness, he explains, "Well, a black cat crossed my path, so I had to take the long way."

The duo growl in anger, obviously not buying the flimsy excuse, and even Sasuke is a little annoyed, despite knowing this particular test has a special time limit. Kushina-oba-chan and kaa-san were able to curb this particular bad habit of their sensei's (Mothers, especially shinobi mothers, can be terrifying in their own right), and the amount of time they had to wait decreased to only _one_ hour. _Four_ hours is just unacceptable.

"Well," The masked man coughs into his hand. "Let's get started." He moves toward the wooden poles near them and sets down an alarm clock on the one in the middle, leaving his hand on the top of it. "Here we go. It's set for noon." He presses down on the button, starting the timer.

The Idiot "Hmm"s beside him in confusion, and Sasuke very nearly rolls his eyes at the man's love of being an enigmatic bastard.

Kakashi-sensei brandishes two bells tied together by string and explains, "Your assignment is very simple. You just have to take these bells from me. That's all there is to it." He lifts his hand, and the bells cling together. "If you can't get them by noon, you go without lunch." Naruto cries out, but the man ignores him, gesturing to the poles next to them. "You'll be tied to those posts, and you'll watch as I eat my lunch in front of you."

Naruto groans loudly, but Sakura realizes the contradiction, holding up two fingers in demonstration, "Wait a minute. There's three of us. How can there be only two bells?"

Eye-smiling, Kakashi-sensei reveals nonchalantly, "Well, that way, at least one of you will be tied to a post and ultimately disqualified for failing to complete the mission. That one goes back to the Academy." He idly dangles the bells. "Then again, all three of you could flunk out, too." Paying no heed to their horrified expressions, he goes on, "You can use any weapons, including shuriken. If you're not prepared to kill me, you won't be able to take the bells."

Sakura instantly protests, "Those weapons are too dangerous, Sensei!"

Naruto chuckles and proves his ignorance as he points out, "Especially since you couldn't even dodge that eraser."

Kakashi-sensei doles out blandly, "Class clowns are usually the weakest links. You can safely ignore them. Lowest scores. _Losers._ " That manages to wipe the grin off the Idiot's face. Addressing all of them, he says, "When I say start, you can begin."

Apparently thoroughly fed up with their sensei, Naruto pulls out a kunai and attacks him. Of course, being a jounin, Kakashi-sensei easily grabs the Idiot's wrist and appears behind him, forcing the blonde to hold the kunai against his own neck - much like the position Sasuke had forced the Idiot to yield in earlier. Sakura gasps in shock, and she and the Idiot stare dumbly at the man.

The masked man admonishes as the dust settles, "Don't be in such a hurry. I didn't say 'Start' yet." He lets the boy go, and Sakura shakily backs up a couple of steps. Sasuke doesn't even bother trying to seem stunned at the display of strength; he's not much an actor, and the man would see through it, anyway.

Kakashi-sensei continues his lecture, "But you came at me with the full intention of destroying me, so..." He laughs. "How can I say this? I'm actually starting to like you guys."

They get into position again without prompting. The jounin says, "Get ready, and... Start!"

The three of them disappear into the surrounding forest, and the survival test begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know. After all that, the bell test is going to be in the next chapter. It just happened that way! I did say this story was slow-paced... OTL


	6. Sasuke's patience is quite thoroughly tested

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos, bookmarks, subscriptions, and hits! I'm glad you guys are enjoying this little story of mine. ^w^

**VI.**

...Or, rather, he and Sakura disappear into the forest, as any decent shinobi with half a brain cell _would_ , and the Idiot - in true idiotic fashion - apparently decided the best course of action was to remain out in the open and challenge their sensei - their as of yet unflappable, untouchable, unimpressed _jounin_ sensei - to a one-on-one fight. Sasuke is _also_ decidedly unimpressed and awaits the inevitable beat down (and, with any luck, blow to the kid's ego) with no small amount of vindictive pleasure.

Arms crossed and eyes squinted, the Idiot demands, looking entirely too proud of himself, "You and me. Right now. Fair and square. Let's go!"

"Hmm?" The masked man lets out in exasperation. He points out after a moment of staring at the blond, perhaps in the hopes the Idiot actually had some sort of plan, "You know, compared to the others, you're a little bit... weird." Sasuke very nearly snorts at such an understatement.

Annoyed, the Idiot retorts childishly, "Oh yeah? The only thing weird here is your haircut!" He then charges the jounin once again, yelling like a moron.

Sasuke pays little attention to the resulting mockery of a fight, pondering on just how, exactly, this rag-tag team of imbeciles is supposed to pass. He's getting kind of irritated at having to compare, but the first time around, Team 7 had passed easily. He and Naruto had worked together effortlessly - training together for years tends to build up some sort of teamwork; they'd learned each others' moves and techniques in order to one-up one another - and Sakura had had enough common sense to realize the objective of the test and had offered to join them in capturing the bells. Kakashi-sensei had then commended them for their camaraderie and quick-thinking, and they had all passed.

He senses Sakura hiding underneath bushes on the opposite side of the forest, far enough away to not be instantly noticed (by anyone without the ability to sense via chakra) but close enough to watch the Idiot fail to prove his strength and competence to any of them. At least she isn't completely useless, he muses.

Nevertheless, he'll have to allow all three of them to fall prey to the jounin before they can plan a counterattack. This serves several purposes. Firstly, it'll be easier to convince the Idiot to work with him when the blonde thinks there isn't any other option. Secondly, he knows the masked man will be suspicious if Sasuke doesn't even attempt to retrieve the bells on his own; he has no doubt his file describes him as arrogant and unwilling to 'play' with others. And finally, Sakura needs to understand just _how_ useless she is before the situation he'd recounted earlier inevitably occurs. Perhaps being thoroughly beaten by a _real_ shinobi will knock some sense into her.

Eventually, the Idiot ends up tied upside down to a tree after falling for an _obvious_ trap. (He shakes his head in disgust.) As the man lectures the boy on his overwhelming stupidity and said boy struggles to escape, Sasuke immediately realizes the jounin is setting _him_ up as well. There's no way he'd let his guard down with the genin at his back, even _if_ the man assumes he's a weak child. Someone only has to get in _one_ lucky shot, after all. (Plus, his soon-to-be-sensei has always been a paranoid bastard.)

He takes the opportunity presented, however, and flings several shuriken and kunai at his target, as would be expected of him considering it's Academy procedure. He's only supposed to know the three basic jutsu - kawarimi, bunshin, and henge - as well as his family's fire techniques, so his options are rather limited. His plan to distance himself from the moronic duo will be more difficult since he has to make amateur mistakes in order to keep up his ruse, as well. How annoying. The moment the weapons seemingly hit their mark, Sasuke hastily flees from his location, recognizing the use of the substitution jutsu even before the plume of smoke reveals it.

At his new location, he notices the man hasn't followed him and quickly realizes _why_ when a scream that could only be Sakura pierces the (relative) silence of the forest. Reflexively (at the perceived threat), he attempts to activate his Sharingan and scrambles to disperse the burst of chakra only for a familiar buzzing sensation to wash over him and a fog he'd forgotten existed to lift and unveil a world in crisp, sharp clarity.

_Oh_ , he thinks distractedly, because not only does he possess his Clan's signature dojutsu, but he has also somehow obtained the highest form of it - the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan. He suddenly _knows_ this, knows it like he knows how to breathe, and the world around him comes to a halt as he puzzles over this unexpected turn of events. He'd known of its existence in his previous lifetime, but he'd never had cause to activate it - until _now_ , that is. The sheer awfulness of the thought - that his eyes are a result of his family's demise - smothers him for a moment, makes shards of pain lance into his heart, drowns him in an overwhelming hatred the likes of which he has never known _until-_

Another scream from his female teammate frees him from his own mind, and he lets out a shaky breath, clutching his chest with one hand while the other grips the bark of the tree. _Focus_ , he demands of himself, unwilling to fall prey to his namesake's stupid 'curse'. He regains his composure and forces himself to think purely analytically. The Mangekyou Sharingan is awakened by witnessing the death of someone close. The next evolution is supposedly brought upon by transplanting the eyes of a sibling into one's own - as Madara did with his brother, Izuna - and no one else has ever been successful in awakening it, at least as far he knows.

That raises a very important question: how did _he_ achieve it, then? He can only guess that it involves his unique situation - specifically, how he entered this world. Rather than transplanting the _eyes_ of his 'sibling', he transplanted his counterpart's entire _being._ If that's the case, he can imagine his version of the Idiot muttering darkly about Sasuke's ability to find such loopholes, and he holds back a smirk. Regardless, the explanation _is_ rather dubious, and he comes to the likely conclusion that the shinigami has been meddling again.

All the same, these eyes of his will be invaluable in his quest to liberate his altruistic brother from his own self-destructive path, and they'll aid him immensely in keeping this squad of imbeciles alive. _However_ , under no circumstances can he allow anyone to find out about this just yet. It grates him to admit this even to himself, but he's no match for some of his biggest enemies as he is now. He is a twenty-four year old jounin in mind, but his body is that of an inexperienced child. He would be targeted for his Sharingan even if he _wasn't_ one of the last Uchiha. The fact that he _is_ makes his pursuers that much more desperate and his need to hide his fully evolved dojutsu that much more imperative.

He deactivates his eyes and immediately feels the drain on his reserves. The forest loses its clarity, and he takes a second to adjust, inwardly lamenting his less than favorable position as a lowly genin. His instincts alert him to a presence just behind his position, and not a moment later, he hears the bells clink together and Kakashi-sensei's put upon voice, "Shinobi Battle Skill No. 2: The Illusion Jutsu. Sakura studied it in class, but she _still_ couldn't see it coming."

So _that's_ how he's playing it. Since he'd engaged the Idiot in (laughable) taijutsu and, presumably, took down Sakura with genjutsu... "That just leaves ninjutsu for me," he mutters, thinking over what level of skill he can allow to bleed through in the upcoming battle.

The masked man chuckles, perhaps at the Uchiha's perceived arrogance, and taunts, "Nice deduction, _my Sasuke-kun~!_ " He resists the urge to shudder as the act leads him to believe he'd been somehow involved in Sakura's defeat by illusion. He can only hope her screams had been ones of terror. (He wouldn't rule out perverted fantasies when it comes to his degenerate of a sensei.)

He turns around and faces the jounin, who'd just stepped out from behind the cover of the trees. What to do, what to do... He hurls more projectiles at the man, who dodges them easily and berates him for using normal attacks, but the boy pays no heed and springs one of the traps he'd set up when he'd searched the forest earlier. Kakashi-sensei jumps out of the way of the triggered weapons, and Sasuke moves in with a flurry of punches and kicks and then reaches for the bells when the chance presents itself.

The masked man swiftly disentangles from him, and the two find themselves at another standoff. The jounin admits, "Well, you _are_ different from the other two; I'll grant you that."

_Finally_. He grunts and then quickly flies through the handseals for his fireball jutsu, noting Kakashi-sensei's obvious surprise with satisfaction. _I'm not an idiot_ , he thinks, acerbically.

The fireball is _much_ smaller than he's used to, but that is the price he pays for having genin-level reserves. When the fire clears, the jounin is nowhere to be found, and Sasuke is suddenly cursing his decision to deactivate his Sharingan because the man has just buried him up to his neck in the ground. He could have used an illusion to hide his use of it, and the masked bastard wouldn't be able to slip under his radar and humiliate him with such an inane jutsu. He growls when the man pats his head patronizingly.

"I was right under your feet. Earth Release: Double Suicide Decapitation jutsu," Kakashi-sensei explains drolly. "Can't move, huh? That was ninjutsu, the third shinobi battle skill." He goes on, "You have talent, and you were right; you are... _different_ from the others. But different isn't always better. They say the nail that sticks up is the one that gets hammered down." He stands from his crouch, opens his smut, and begins leisurely walking away.

Sasuke barely resists the sudden, burning urge to test out his new Sharingan's abilities on the infuriating man and focuses instead on escaping the hard earth once the jounin is out of sight. He does so by using a ninjutsu Kakashi-sensei had taught him himself - Earth Release: Hiding Like a Mole technique, which turns the packed dirt around him into fine sand, allowing him to 'swim' his way to the surface. _That man and his thrice-damned earth jutsu_. He scowls at having been duped so easily, especially when he _knows_ this man's arsenal and fighting preferences.

He hears rustling indicating movement coming from his right, and he watches on bemusedly as Sakura rushes into the clearing, looking rather haggard and worse for the wear - That is, until she spots him. "Sasuke! You're alright!" So they _were_ screams of terror. Well, that's one less problem to worry about. She goes on, teary-eyed, "But I saw you earlier! You were covered in- in... _blood_!"

An eyebrow raises unbidden, and he asks blankly, "You still haven't figured it out?" Sakura is supposed to be the _smart_ one. It seems the stupidity is catching.

"What are you talking about?" She breathes out, confused.

He _will not_ stab his teammates. _He will not._ "That was a genjutsu, Sakura."

Her cheeks flush bright red as the words sink in, and she scratches her cheek in embarrassment. "Oh."

"Anyway, I've determined what the real point of this test is." Bluntness is probably the only way he'll get through to these two.

She tilts her head in puzzlement and parrots, "The real point? What do you mean?"

"We're supposed to work together - all three of us." When she opens her mouth to protest, he speaks over her, "I know there are only two bells _and_ that Kakashi-sensei is a jounin, so actually beating him is almost impossible. But _think_ about it, Sakura. Why would they 'graduate' three of us and then send one of us back to the Academy? This 'survival training' is designed to test our ability to work as a team. We're expected to be able to work well with one another _and_ with other shinobi on missions. If we can't, we're _useless_ as ninja."

The explanation is a familiar one as he'd had to convince the Idiot the first time around rather than Sakura, who had understood the meaning from the beginning. (Then again, they had both had their parents' genin teams to use as a frame of reference; this time, they have nothing to compare.) Sasuke hadn't used the 'Bell Test', as they had nicknamed it, on his own team, not only because the masked man would have teased him about it, but because the Idiot had already subjected _his_ team to it (The Idiot had applied for a team at least three years before Sasuke had been forced into taking one on.) His pride would never stand for it, so he'd devised his own method of evaluation. His kids had never quite recovered from the trauma induced that day.

The girl's eyes widen in realization, and she points out, " _That's_ the 'Will of Fire', isn't it? It's why our village is different from the rest. We focus on protecting and fighting for each other."

"Exactly," He agrees, pleased despite himself at his female teammate's astuteness, even if her words are merely pulled straight from the textbook. He has to remind himself that this is the same Sakura who went on to become a widely recognized and feared kunoichi, as well as his sister in all but blood; she's just started out a little differently. He spreads his level of awareness, searching for the Idiot's particularly sunny chakra. "Now, we just have to find Naruto, and we can plan a counterattack."

Sakura's delighted smile fades as she glances up at the sky and says, "It's almost lunch. Do you think we'll have enough time?"

"We have to try." He inwardly berates himself for wasting so much time; it hadn't even occurred to him that they could fail because of something as stupid as the sounding of an alarm. "I found him. Let's go," He orders as soon as he spots the Idiot's agitated well of chakra in the middle of the clearing.

The two of them stop just before the tree line, using the thick vegetation as cover, and easily locate the hyperactive blonde tied to one of three wooden posts and struggling against his bonds. It's almost amazing how often the moron manages to get himself captured - _almost_. It's mostly just ridiculous. His captor is leaning casually against the post next to him, seemingly immersed in his precious erotica.

Sasuke hastily looks to the clock and realizes with dismay that they have only a few minutes before it goes off. Thinking quickly, he comes up with and dismisses several plans of action. Even if he and Sakura manage to free the Idiot, there's no way they'd be able to talk him into teaming up with them before the time runs out. They could hope that he picks up on their intention, but he has labeled the Idiot as such _for a reason_. He could attempt to disable the clock, but Kakashi-sensei would definitely see him, thus rendering the act pointless. Unless...

There _is_ his Sharingan. This will be his first time using it, not only in this body but _at all_ ; however, he's confident in his ability to control his own dojutsu. That's settled, then.

The Uchiha activates his eyes and immediately casts the genjutsu with his right eye, knowing instinctively that this particular one casts stronger illusions. He doesn't have the capability of altering one's perception of time - yet another thing he just _knows_ \- so he settles for crafting a few layers, two that his sensei is _supposed_ to notice and several he definitely shouldn't be able to, not at his current level. The only thing the man _should_ see is the clearing as it is before he and Sakura rescue their incompetent third teammate, and when he inevitably disperses the 'visible' illusions, he should only be able to perceive two tomoe in Sasuke's distinctive red eyes. Fooling his sensei into thinking he has an undeveloped Sharingan is, at the very least, preferable than revealing them to be fully evolved.

He lets Sakura in on his plan - without divulging _every_ thing, of course - and they rescue the Idiot, heedless of the blonde's protests at Sasuke's help and gushing at Sakura's. It doesn't take much to persuade the boy to join with them, fortunately. The Idiot will be one step closer to his dream _and_ in their female teammate's good graces. The Uchiha knows the boy well enough to guess his thoughts on the matter; he's proven right when the orange-clad boy giggles maniacally and mutters his motivations aloud, much to Sakura's disgust.

The rest goes according to plan. Kakashi-sensei allows himself to be caught in the illusion and then distracted by the other two as Sasuke finally manages to retrieve the bells from the man. Each of them refuse to take a bell and offer to be the one to fail, all the while speaking about their reasons for working together. The masked man eats it up and passes them, and Sasuke smirks in unison with his new teammates' large grins at the declaration.

Team 7 has been officially formed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question: Do I capitalize ninja techniques? The Naruto wiki does, but that could simply be because it's the topic of the page.
> 
> Soo, some things will remain the same because AU!Sasuke is still Sasuke, and as was explained extensively in-chapter, he's limited in the things he can do for a number of reasons. This won't always be the case. Canon will eventually diverge completely, but it is going to take some time. 
> 
> This fic is different from usual time travel fics because Sasuke is from an AU, so he doesn't even know for sure what things he should prevent or leave alone or even about stuff that will happen here that didn't in the AU.


End file.
